Neo vs Captain N
Description Matrix vs Nintendo, this is happening and that's reality....OR IS IT? Intro Wiz: Virtual reality, something considered a phenomenon by scientists. Boomstick: And these two are masters of it. Wiz: Neo, the one. Boomstick: and Captain N, THE GAME MASTER. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: and it's our jobs to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a DEATHBATTLE. Neo Wiz: What if I told you, the world around us was nothing but a bundle of 0's and 1's? Boomstick: well I'd say you're insane and I should shoot you. Wiz: Well, you can't really do that to Thomas A. Anderson. Boomstick: Born a complete dork, the hacker who goes by Neo online is nothing out of the ordinary. But he is actually the savior of humanity and the chosen one, with the title...The One. Wiz: Neo soon met a man named Morpheus after being kidnapped by his gang, who told him the walls of reality are only a computer program called the Matrix. and humans are used as batteries by robots. The man then gave Neo a hard choice. Boomstick: Morpheus give Neo two pills. the blue pill would let him live his life and the red pill would tell him the truth. Neo took the red pill. Now, this red pill didn't make Neo see what I see when a creepy dude gives me a red pill, but something equally weird. Wiz: Thomas woke up in a human farm made by machines. Yes, literally a place where they grow humans. Boomstick: Neo was then brought onto Morpheus' ship. No, not for a sex party, that's in the next movie. Wiz: Why would you-ugh. Morpheus told Neo that he was the one that was going to set mankind free, but to do so, Neo would need to learn how to fight. In reality, learning how to fight like a worrier would take weeks, even mouths of training. Boomstick: But after one fight with Morpheus in the Matrix that went...pretty normal. Morpheus: STOP TRYING TO HIT ME AND HIT ME! Boomstick: This happened: Neo: I know Kung-Fu. Wiz: Neo's trying didn't stop there, however. Boomstick: From some kids, Neo learned how to bend the Matrix and spoons. Wiz: All Neo needs to do is believe the Matrix is not there. Boomstick: And then SUPERPOWERS! Wiz: Neo can fly, stop bullets, dodge bullets, and go really, really fast. Boomstick: One time he needed to open a door, but his enemy Agent Smith put them in the mountains. So Tom just flew around the world and opened the door! Wiz: This means Neo probably went faster than the speed of sound and even light. Boomstick: You know how Neo can alter the Matrix? If Neo can alter himself inside the Matrix, do you think he can alter his body, like expand his-''' Wiz: Don't even think about it. '''Boomstick: FINE! *ahem* when he feels he needs to get violent, Neo pulls out his twin mini guns, powerful enough to clear an entire room of security guards. Wiz: Despite this, Neo is hardly invincible, he doesn't have many feats proving physical durability, and if you die in the Matrix, you're not coming back. Boomstick: Still, Neo has mastered fighting, taken on people like Smith, and a few of the Matrix people because he needs to prove himself, like a million times. But his great feat has got to be when he shut down machines trying to kill him, OUTSIDE THE MATRIX! Wiz: Remember, if you want to get out of the computer simulation, Neo can probably help you. Captain N Wiz: This is Video Land, where our favorite video game characters live. Boomstick: Like this weird green guy. A wimpy kid who can't stop saying "carus", and this Zoolander clone who's afraid of vampires. Wiz: Boomstick, that's Mega Man, Kid Icarus, and Simon Belmont. Boomstick: They really let themselves go. Wiz: The Palace of Power, ruled by Princess Lana, was in danger by Mother Brain. Their only hope lied in a prophecy that stated a hero from another world would save them all. Boomstick: Enter Californian teenager Kevin Keene. Well wiping the ass of King Hippo, Kevin was sucked into Video Land by the legendary Warp Zone. Captain N: Like in Super Mario Brothers? Boomstick: Yep. Wiz: Kevin was then told that he was the chosen to become, Captain N. Boomstick: THE GAME MASTER! Wiz: At first, Kevin was underestimated. Boomstick: But after proving he had the skills and because his mother was a bitch, N staid in Videoland for as long as Mother Brain was alive. Wiz: If you're gonna be a chosen worrier, you need some powerful weapons. Boomstick: Kevin fits this perfectly. His weapon is the NES Zapper. Captain N: This? It's just a toy Kevin shoots a chandelier accidentally, causing it to break Boomstick: WHY CAN'T MINE DO THAT!?! It would show that damn dog I know who's boss. Wiz: That would probably destroy your TV. Boomstick: Worth it. Wiz: Kevin's Zapper shoots lasers programmed to emanate any enemy in Videoland. Boomstick: They don't call Captain N THE GAME MASTER for nothing. On his belt is the trusty power pad. here's how it works; the A button make Kevin jump high, the side buttons make N move from side to side faster than light, another button turns Cap into a little ball of light, and the pause button stops time itself. Wiz: Kevin has some impressive feats. Boomstick: He's lead the N team and even Link and Zelda for a lot of time, survived on a deserted planet for 15 years, thought through a time stop (as in time stopped but he could still think,) is proven to be an athlete and even was sat on by the giant angry ape Donkey Kong, and survived. Wiz: Even at that, Kevin has little solo experience in combat and usually has the N team on his back, to make thing worse, N's Zapper and Power Pad have limited battery power and can run out of fuel. Boomstick: But even at that, he still has proven to be of use to the N team time and time again. Wiz: Even thinking of them as a family. Boomstick: Like Simon as that creepy uncle trying to sleep with your girlfriend. Or Pit being that disabled kid you can't help but feel sorry for. Wiz: Bet that was like what your family is like. Boomstick: HEY! Pre-fight Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all. Boomstick: What if I told you IT'S TIME OF A DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fight Random ass city Neo was walking around trying to find Smith when-'' Lightning strikes in front of a building to reveal Captain N. ''Captain N: I knew that warp zone looked strange...where am I? Neo: Who are you? Captain N: Whoa, cool clothes. Neo: I know you have something to do with the Matrix. Cap: What's the Matrix? Anderson gets into his fighting stance. Cap: Ok... Cap takes out his Zapper. Cap: let's do this! FIGHT! ' Neo dashes at N. He throws a punch but Cap blocks it. N shoots five times at Neo, only four them to be dodged in slow motion. ''Cap: You're good. Neo says nothing Cap: What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? Anderson gets offend by that a kicks Captain in the face. Cap: Was it something I said? '''Neo: Yes. Neo pulls out his guns and shoots. Kevin dodges with the Power Pad. Cap: Oh no. The One shoot bullets upon bullets. The Game Master turns into a ball of light and moves around avoiding all of them and even going up a building only for the guns breaking all the windows. N turns back into a human and punches Tom right in the face. He doesn't take it well and kicks N through a window into a building. Over at the building The Game Master was kicked into, N gets up and is covered in cuts and pain. Cap: This guy is serious. Neo flys up to a room with a nice table and eight chairs on each side that he kicked in into. He sees Kevin and throws a chair at him. N uses the Zapper to blow it up. Cap: Really goes to show why fighting me for no reason was a bad idea. Kevin stops time- Cap: PAUSE! and tackles Neo back onto the random street this all started. Cap: Give up? Neo gets up to reveal a bloody nose. Neo: No. Cap: Well ok then...PAUSE! The Game Master stops time once again. He approaches The One and points the Zapper at his face. Cap: Sorry man, but you started it. Neo would die...if he didn't kick the Zapper out of N's hand! Cap: WHAT!?! Neo kicks Kevin in the gut then punches Captain in the face giving him a black eye. He then flys up into the air and kicks him repetitively in the face. He then flies around the country and comes back in a kicking position. The camera does the famous spin around and then Neo kicks Cap as the screen fades to black. Neo slides onto the ground with a whole lot of blood on his right foot. At the same time, only half of N slides on the screen with him. KO! Aftermath Boomstick: Well, he's mega dead that's for sure. Wiz: Yes. Captain N surviving being sat on by Donkey Kong proves he's more durable, but Neo surpasses in everything else. Boomstick: Kevin has proven that he's an athlete time and time again, but that's nothing compared to Neo's world feat. And Neo has done a lot single handed well N pretty much always with the N team. Wiz: But of course there's the Elephant in the room. Neo's hacking skills and the Power Pad counter each other perfectly, how does Neo just completely ignore the Pause. Well, Tomas has learned how to use his power outside the Matrix. This means that Neo's hacking skill is so strong that if someone did stop time, as long as he's in the Matrix, Anderson can since it and reverse it. Boomstick: This was the eNd of Captain N. Wiz: The winner is Neo. Category:Movie vs TV shows theme Death battle Category:Christianthepupbot Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles